Fast heading to top billing on my ’Don’t Give A Fuck About This Anymore’ marquee? Barack Obama’s former pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright. Is he anti-American? Is he pro-Black Separatist? Is he a
Skrull?
*
"SUPER Skrull! Not just regular Skrull. Sorry, I get a little defensive sometimes."
Who gives a fuck?! Not I, as the previous paragraph should have indicated.
First off, as a self-identified atheist it makes me uncomfortable that any and all candidates for political office tout their ’good Christianity’. "I’m agin’ it", as the prospectors say. From my perspective, a candidate who says he or she is active in their church is at best like telling me that they enjoy romance novels (distasteful but inconsequential), and at worst like telling me that they might pull off their face and *POP* reveal Pat Robertson’s*2 gremlin mug.
"What’s ’taters, Precious? What’s ’taters?"
So, who a candidate chooses as their inoculation against anti-religious bias (it exists, and it’s just as ugly as any other bias) means less than zero to me. I understand that to make it in American politics you’ve got to appeal to likely voters (old folks, zealots, rich folks who want to stay rich but seem compassionate by tithing (these people need an acronym); bonus points for the double parenthetical; eat that, English majors!), but can’t we just leave it at the comfortably vague "I’m a person of deep personal faith."? Sure, that faith could turn out to be faith in Cthulhu, The Dweller In The Darkness*3, but once again, this makes no appreciable difference to me. Besides, if the candidate was really worshipping Cthulhu, we’d vote for him as a result of the mind control.
"Cthulhu ’08! ROOOOAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!"Why all the furor over Wright? He said some stuff along the lines of "America killed more in Hiroshima and Nagasaki than were killed on 9/11". I’m sorry; is this not true? He’s said some stuff along the lines of "black Americans have been marginalized and persecuted by the government". Waitaminute………that’s true too. He’s said some stuff along the lines of "9/11 woke people up to the hatred toward America that is festering around the world due to imperialist actions". Well, surely we already knew about the hatred out there for America………and what? Ignored it? Good strategy. We should blame Barack Obama because his pastor made accurate points?
Before I get carried away coming to the aid of a man of the cloth, let’s re-state the premise here. I don’t care who Barack Obama prays with. It matters the same as whether he wears an American flag pin, puts his hand on his heart during the Pledge of Allegiance, or double dips his Fritos Scoops*4. Window dressing. Unimportant.
I’m more concerned that any candidate I’d vote for as a progressive liberal feels the need to attend a church at all; chances are, the pastor/reverend/priest/minister/rabbi/preacher/houngan would more likely than not oppose equal protection and opportunity under the law for gay and lesbian couples and a woman’s right to reproductive choice. Both of these are key liberal beachheads, and we’re willing to cede them to some degree whenever we indicate preference for a candidate who subscribes to institutionalized religion. But, somehow, no one on the left needs to clarify their support of those types of ’leaders’.
Also, since Hilary*5 seems to like citing Obama’s connection to Wright………
"Thanks for your support during this whole Lewinsky thing, Reverend Wright. Rest assured, when my wife runs for president and cites her partnership in policy crafting and diplomacy during my term, this will not come back to bite her on her privileged ass in any way."
* Shapechanging aliens out to conquer Earth. Read a comic book already!
*2 Shapechanging alien out to conquer Earth. Also likes Jesus; hates Hugo Chavez.
*3 Mind-controlling Great Old One out to conquer Earth. Read some Lovecraft already!
*4 Salty corn chips out to conquer Earth………with delicious results.
*5 Clinton. "Democratic" Senator just to the left of Joe "McCain/Lieberman" Lieberman.
