Friday, July 17, 2009

If We Can Dream It, We Can Do It

Stay with me here. It's a bidet for babies. I call it a Bidet-by (biday-bee).*

Sure, right now it's in the planning stages, and since I don't have the start-up capital it's just a squirt gun filled with warm, soapy water, but think of it! The baby gets clean, and your chance for fecal contact is minimized!*2

What we do is, build a small walk-in shower-type dealie, put a slot at toddler eye level for the display of the kids' favorite toy, run a hose at medium pressure in through the floor of the device, and put foaming soap dispensers that shoot jets of cleaner at butt level.

Let me know, 'cause I've got investors who could be interested in this if I tell them about it if they return my calls.

* I understand that the spelling makes it seem like "Bidet By", but this is a whole different thing. I admit in retrospect that surprise ass washings might not be everyone's thing. The court has spoken, and I am listening. Strictly voluntary this time.........for the parents, at least.

*2 Of things that we all would like to minimize, fecal contact is pretty high up there. Am I right? On my list of things I'd rather not do, 'touch poop' is somewhere between 'run unnecessarily' and 'step on a cheese grater while running unnecessarily'. Probably closer to the latter than the former.


David said...

You are better of just getting a Hand Bidet Sprayer. A hand held bathroom bidet sprayer is so much better than a stand alone bidet or bidet seat and this is why:1. It's less expensive (potentially allot less) 2. You can install in yourself = no plumber expense 3. It works better by providing more control of where the water spray goes and a greater volume of water flow. 4. It requires no electricity and there are few things that can go wrong with it. 5. It doesn't take up any more space, many bathrooms don't have room for a stand alone bidet. 6. You don’t have to get up and move from the toilet to the bidet which can be rather awkward at times to say the least. Available at One review:

Justin Riley said...

Good to know. I was mostly joking, but it's nice to see someone is thinking about this sort of thing.

David said...

We should never joke about a nice clean tush, ok maybe a little. Cheers.

Jay Johnson said...

umm.. yeah. what that guy said. i just take mine through the carwash, crank up the Carwash and moon the octo-brush spinning arms. (Caveat: don't pull an unintended Silence of the Lambs situation...)

Justin Riley said...

I don't think there'll be any problems, Jay, as long as "IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BASKET!!!"

Ah, who doesn't love a good 'Buffalo Bill' joke?